I'm Coming Out!
Happy Saturday, y’all!
**I’m COMING OUT! I want the world to know! Got to let it show!** (sung with all of Diana Ross’s FABULOUSNESS)!!
**I AM OUTING MYSELF!!** Did you know that I am a "Perfectionist in Recovery"? My deepest, darkest secret is that I had a really warped and unhealthy relationship with my F.E.A.R (False Evidence (about myself) Appearing Real).
As a Perfectionist, I was highly driven by my dreams and goals. However, I was EQUALLY (if not more) AFRAID of failing, criticism, rejection, exposure, judgment, and the embarrassment I might face if I risked standing in my BIG, BOLD, BRILLIANT LIGHT. I was uncertain if or how to fully be me: share my voice and authentically live my Purpose. I was frightened to dare to live the vision I constantly played in my mind of supporting people heal from their own misperceptions of their secretly held F.E.A.R. The question, “Who are YOU TO BE A HEALER?” left me stuck in the quicksand of self-shame.
Here's where things got even more warped for me as a Perfectionist (and perhaps for you too): from the outside looking in, MANY THINGS ABOUT MY LIFE LOOKED PERFECT. I could check off many of our society’s “success" boxes. Even though I'd worked hard to achieve my goals, the CERTAINTY OF MY SELF-WORTH WAS SKEWED. It was as though I was stuck waiting for the “perfect me” to show up before I believed I was ready to go after what I truly wanted in life.
Do you see a pattern here? No matter how much "outer success" I accumulated, I still felt that I WAS NOT ENOUGH = NOT ENOUGH TO TRULY SHOW UP AS ME IN MY BRILLIANCE. "We create from where we are" (Tara Sage), thus I was creating (on a very subconscious level) a personal universe that reflected back to me, "You are CORRECT, you are NOT ENOUGH – you are NOT PERFECT."
I say, "outing myself,” because when I came to terms with my Perfectionism (even as an expert leadership and life coach who deeply believed in the transformative process of the “inner-work”) my realization was terrifying. Once I became AWARE of my cross to bear (I was a Perfectionist), I was DETERMINED to do something about it! And this is where life got REALLY SCARY – making a QUANTUM LEAP requires you to look your F.E.A.R. in the face and DO IT (whatever you are afraid of) ANYWAY. Taking action when all you want to do and are accustomed to doing is hiding your light = TERRIFYING!
Well, folks, I did it – I completely transformed my relationship with F.E.A.R. (as evidenced by “outing myself”) and continue to flex my Brilliance muscle each and every day! Just like any other “recovery process,” there is no there-there – no end destination, only an in-the-moment consistent decision to be MORE THAN MY F.E.A.R.
Every time I tell F.E.A.R. to “kick rocks,” my life quantum leaps. Do you know why? Because I create from where I am… and I AM MORE THAN MY F.E.A.R. – I AM MY BRILLIANCE!
What does my recovery mean for you? It means that I am a Perfectionist expert and coach whose Brilliance is to inspire, support, and guide you make your own recovery! I can sniff out Perfectionism’s grip like a New York City rat can smell garbage!
How do you know if YOU suffer from Perfectionism? Take the “Are You a Perfectionist Quiz?” and find out for yourself:
What do you do if you know are a Perfectionist? I have a very SPECIAL GIFT designed just for YOU: a *complimentary* 30-minutes with me for your “Break Through Perfectionism Session.” Schedule your *gifted session* here: